The study and treatment of insignificant psychological disorders.

MicroPsych Products and Services offers a number of services and products to help in the treatment of many microdisorders. Please contact us for ordering information. Bulk discounts are available.

Emotional Release Stations

Erhart Verner, who played a key role in the human potential movement of the early 1970's, is back. Having seen more and more travelers in more and more stressful situations, Verner has established Emotional Release Stations in major airport terminals around the world. These stations offer travelers tranquil places where they can relax, unwind and release tension brought on by the stresses of travel.

Emotional Release Stations have closed environmental systems that circulate oxygen-enriched air, they are stocked with soothing teas and physio-cleansing fruit, and they are supported by personnel trained in serenity techniques. Emotional Release Stations are of particular value to those who suffer from Gulliver's Complaint.

Airport terminal locations of Emotional Release Stations, can be found on the company's website. The typical cost of a one-hour visit to an Emotional Release Station is €65. Multiple-visit discount coupons are available from Please contact us to learn more.

Tranquil places for travelers


Chemically infused fabric is available commercially under the trade name Perceptowear.

In 1987, scientists working at the French Textile Research Institute in Léon discovered a chemical that, when applied during the manufacture of fabrics, altered the visual perception of that fabric. What’s more, the visual sensation emanating from the fabric also changed the perception of the person wearing that fabric, causing a significant increase in what the scientists called "a positive emotional perception of the wearer" — that is, it made the wearer appear much more physically attractive.

Now this chemically infused fabric is available commercially under the trade name Perceptowear. While Perceptowear has been used in the manufacture of products as diverse as umbrellas, vehicle seat covers, camping gear, and of course bedding, it has found its greatest use in clothing.

For example, Stephanie who is shown in the before-and-after photos here, is a chronic sufferer of Bââd Haradäë Disorder. Yet, with the simple selection of a pink blouse made of Perceptowear, there is a radical change in her appearance. The only change was the Perceptowear blouse. [Note: These are actual, un-retouched photos. Neither special attention was given to Stephanie's hair nor was additional makeup applied. Your results may vary.]

To order a catalogue of all Perceptowear products, contact us.


Data from the International Federation of Wireless Carriers, the trade organization of cellular service providers, show that most calls made and received on cellular networks are between individuals desperately in need of talking to and hearing from their friends. This is particularly true of those afflicted with Disconnectopathy

To meet this demand, Celluliar Systems, Inc. has rolled out PeopSync, an add-on service for its subscribers that allows them to call an assigned number and be greeted with a personal message from a friend. Then, through the application of artificial intelligence software tailored to the person's situation and location, the caller can carry on a pseudo-dialog to meet, as the company says, "the caller's need for comfort and reassurance."

PeopSync costs $7.95 a month and allows a subscriber an unlimited number of calls to the assigned number. To sign up, contact us.

Be greeted with a personal message from a friend.


Developed for both Antecedent and Postcedent Promptniacs, the SlopWatch rarely indicates the correct time. Instead, it runs either "fast" or "slow" depending on the input from its wearer. This allows the wearer to arrive at appointments at "appropriate" rather than "scheduled" times. 

Here's how it works: The wearer selects from a list of appointments displayed on the watch face, or the wearer enters a verbal command with a name or event. Next, the wearer enters the scheduled time of the event. The SlopWatch automatically sets the displayed time to show either ahead or behind actual time as a function of each particular event.

For example, if the wearer were to select "doctor" then "2:00 PM," the watch would advance the time displayed by 10 minutes so that she would arrive at her appointment at a corrected time of 1:50 PM. Similarly, if she were to say "president," then "2:00 PM," the time would indicate a time one hour ahead so that she would arrive in the president's office at 1:00 PM. Similarly, if she were to select "husband," it would run 20 minutes behind the actual time.

The SlopWatch synchronizes automatically with both Android and Mac operating systems and can be programmed with up to 500 events to constantly adjust the displayed time. 

To order your SlopWatch for only $849, contact us.

Automatically sets the displayed time to show either ahead or behind actual time


The Spitometer is shown here being calibrated by its developer, Wayne Indecotte, President and CEO of Expector Dynamics, LLC. As a certified spitologist, Dr. Indecotte began producing Spitometers in conjunction with his research into the clinical value of spittle. During those investigations, it was discovered that the device was effective in assisting the rehabilitation and eventual recovery of sufferers of Projectile Dysfunction. Moreover, not only does the Spitometer aid in treating this sometimes debilitating microdisorder, but through collaboration with NASA engineers during its development, it has been shown to drastically improve the volume, velocity, distance, and accuracy of every spit.

Today there are over a half million Spitometers in use around the world, with more being shipped every day. Spitometers are already on hand in nurses’ offices in most private girls’ schools, and it is projected that within four years, every public elementary school and modeling agency in North America will have a supply of Spitometers.

A new model of the Spitometer, the Super Spitometer, will be available early next year and can be pre-ordered for only €799. To reserve your Super Spitometer, contact us.

Effective in rehabilitating sufferers of Projectile Dysfunction

Copyright © 2010 – 2021, These contents may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without our express written consent. If you use any of our stuff without asking first, we’ll certainly be pissed off and we may just sue your ass for good measure. is satire, fiction, spoof. In no way does it represent actual psychological science or therapy. (If you need to be told that, maybe you suffer from an undiagnosed microdisorder yourself.) Proper names used on the website, unless those of public figures or entities, are fictional. Any resemblance to persons or entities is coincidental. is not associated with any research or treatment center, nor would any reputable facility wish to be associated with